Studio Stuff

I've completed a couple more paintings in the "Meditation on War" series since my last entry.

Over the Drina River

Oil on panel, 12"x17"

Plastic Window

Oil on panel, 12"x9"

I'm doing some small paintings right now. It's a nice change. This series of paintings about war is kinda heavy, and seems to call for larger works. I mean, heavy subject matter means it's gotta be big in order to do it justice, right? But now that I've done three small ones, I've found that there's definitely a place for smaller works. They're a lot fresher, for one thing. I don't spend a lot of time doing workup drawings and thinking about the meaning of each and every item. And they don't have to have multiple layers of meaning. All of these are based on things I saw in Bosnia - just quick images that, for whatever reason, left an impression in my memory.

None of these are copied from photos, by the way. I do use photos, but usually there are multiple sources for each painting. The Drina painting, for example, was triggered by a snapshot I took during a helicopter trip. The landscape in that photo was boring, so I used a couple of other photos to guide me while I made up the "Drina" composition.

In a previous post, I mentioned that I wanted to start working in a slightly different way. This past week I set the ball in motion by contacting some people representing various veterans organizations. I hope to be able to find some vets to work with me on some paintings. Exactly what that means is still to be determined - whether that's in sharing thoughts, stories, images, or (better) sitting for a painting whose storyline is based on their experiences.

Also this week, I came across another artist who is working along similar lines. His name's Aaron Hughes. He's a young guy who spent a year plus in Iraq. Afterward, he completed a BFA and did a powerful series of works based on his experiences. You can see his works here.

And just a couple of days ago, I discovered that there are efforts underway to hold a large-scale anti-war protest event in Washington on September 15th. That's the day that General Petraeus is scheduled to present his report to Congress. Last year, I went up to DC for Camp Democracy, which was also an anti-war event. I thought it would be big, but turned out to be very little. This one, though, might be the real deal. I'm looking at taking my display tent and political satire paintings up there. The event is being organized by the ANSWER Coalition and you can read about it here.

Now back to politics ...

Our Abject Failure in Chief continues to distinguish himself with his political commentary. Today's press conference is certainly no exception.

Example: "The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September 11." Umm, no. Bush has been conflating Iraq and Al Qaeda his whole presidency, and they are NOT the same thing, as any intel analyst will tell you. Bin Laden and Al Qaeda attacked us on September 11, while Hussein was sitting on his hands in Baghdad. The Al Qaeda in Iraq organization shares little more than the "Al Qaeda" name with Bin Laden. Yes, they're really bad guys, but they WEREN'T IN IRAQ before Bush's invasion, and they're not all that likely to try to attack us here. They'd like to, but liking and doing are two different things.

Example: "Those of us who believe the battle in Iraq can and must be won, see the satisfactory performance on several of the security benchmarks as a cause for optimism." Bush and Cheney are the only ones in the world who seem to think we can "win" in Iraq. The only ones who can bring about the conditions that will end the violence are the Iraqis, and to date their so-called "government" has proven to be remarkably incompetent. The "satisfactory performance" that Bush touted are all due to American servicemen/women. The Iraqis have completely missed every single one of their "benchmarks". In other words, our troops are still carrying Bush's sorry ass after four years in a useless quagmire. Peace requires diplomacy. How much diplomacy have you seen from this administration? Somewhere south of zero.

Example: "I'm aware of the fact that perhaps somebody in the administration did disclose the name of that person" ("that person" was Valerie Plame). Remember that when the Plame scandal began four years ago, Bush said he would fire anyone in his administration who was found to have publicly disclosed the identity of Plame. She was a covert CIA agent and her outing did untold damage to intelligence programs and possibly got people killed. As Scooter Libby's trial proved, there were quite a few people who outed her, including Libby. And what did Bush do in response? Commuted the convicted felon's sentence.

Sigh. Every day, every single day, brings more of the same. The guy is a frickin' idiot.

I remember during the runup to the first Gulf War that whenever Saddam Hussein was given a choice between two lines of action, he always chose the one with the worst possible outcome. George Bush is doing the exact same thing.

And we still have 556 days of this to look forward to.

More Pictures of the Grandson

He's a happy little guy, isn't he?

I've got about a half-dozen captions for this one, but you've probably got a better one ... let me know and I'll post it here.

Another New Painting

I finally finished this painting over the weekend. It's been in progress since frickin' February! I had other projects which kept jumping in and taking precedence, so this one would sometimes spend weeks on hiatus until I could get back to it. The painting is two separate panels, each 48" x 36".

A lovely young lady here in Asheville posed for the woman in the left panel. She's got a description of the process on her MySpace page, which you can see here.

I must be gettin' old ... seems like they're all "lovely young ladies" these days ... there once was a time when they were "hot babes" ...

Army of Dude

I just added a new link. "Army of Dude" is a blog by a soldier currently in Iraq. It's a very powerful and well-written look at the day-to-day life of a soldier on the front line. Some of it's funny, some of it's not. In particular, look at his March 25 entry titled "Brian Chevalier, 1985-2007" for an unvarnished look at what street fighting in Iraq is all about.

Scooter Libby

Yesterday, George Bush commuted Scooter Libby's sentence. Scooter, you may remember, was Dick Cheney's chief of staff. Scooter was the one who was telling all the Washington reporters that Valerie Plame was a CIA agent, and then he lied about it under oath. He was convicted and the judge threw the book at him. Yesterday, George said the sentence was too much, so he threw out the prison sentence.

So what does it all mean? Well, that's the million-dollar question today, isn't it? Was George playing to the far right-wing base who were raising millions for the "Scooter Libby Defense Funds"? If he was, he didn't make them happy: they wanted a complete pardon. (Note that these were the same ones who were rabidly attacking Bill Clinton for lying under oath. Let's see: Libby outed a covert CIA agent, which effectively ended her career, did untold damage to all intelligence programs she was involved in previously, and possibly got some of her contacts killed. Libby then deliberately misled prosecutors in a successful attempt to divert attention from his bosses who dreamed this whole thing up. Clinton lied about a blow job. Yeah, that sounds about equal, doesn't it?) So with Bush's decision, Libby is still a convicted felon who will be on probation for a while and have to pay a $250,000 fine. Sounds stiff, except that even as a convicted felon, he won't have any problem getting employment from the multitude of right-wingers. I bet we see him at some think-tank soon, or maybe on the board at Halliburton. As for the probation, probation from what? Revealing any more CIA agents' identities? Lying to any more grand juries? Be real. And a $250,000 fine sounds terrible, except that, as noted previously, his "defense funds" have already raised millions. They'll just write a check from one of those funds and Scooter's off the hook. So basically, Libby is free to go write a book, make a lot of money, and have a good life. As George said, anything more is "excessive punishment".

Okay, so the far right wing base isn't happy that Libby didn't get a pardon. The other roughly 85% of America (according to today's CNN polls) isn't happy that he's not going to prison. This 85% of America, by the way, is collectively known as the "left wing" to Limbaugh, Coulter, and the Administration. None of us are happy because Bush has subverted justice yet again.

So if the right wing isn't happy, and the "left wing" isn't happy, who is? Well, Scooter. But he can't vote now, so he won't have any effect on the next election.

I heard some TV pundit saying that Bush might be trying to shore up his legacy. Yes, I can see it now:
"George Bush: Still dumber than a box of rocks."

Kindred Spirits

Last week, a friend of mine told me about a book he'd just spotted. It was a slim volume of paintings and drawings of the war-torn Bosnian landscape. He said the artist was pretty good, a former student of Ben Long's, and her paintings looked a lot like the ones I was doing.

So I found the book on Amazon.com, ordered it, and just finished reading it today. The book is called "Ruined Landscapes: Paintings of the Balkan War Zone". The artist is Laura Buxton and the text was written by Ross Yockey.

I had three reactions in succession while going through the book. The first was "Wow, these are good". The second was "Damn, she's painting my pictures!" And the third was "Damn, she's already painted my pictures, got 'em exhibited, got 'em sold, and published a book about it besides!" Ever had that experience, where you're busting your tail to do something nobody else is doing, only to discover that somebody else has already done it?

There certainly are a lot of similarities. We were both there at pretty much the same time. We both have done paintings of shot-up buildings. We both paint in a loose but realistic manner. The similarities are such that I was left wondering what the hell I could add to what she's already done.

The difference is that she did her paintings on-site, sitting right there looking at the building or bridge or whatever the subject was. I'm doing mine from ten years and half a world away. I'm using old notes, sketchbooks, and really badly exposed photographs as sources. While we're both looking at what war leaves behind, I'm looking at "war" in the abstract sense and she was looking at it in the real world.

When I was studying art with Virginia Derryberry, one of my art teachers at UNCA, her mantra was to "make it personal". It always resulted in a better picture. One of my paintings from that time was a remake of Manet's Olympia. I was working on a series about aging, and wanted to change Manet's nude young woman on a bed, attended by a servant, into an old woman on a hospital bed, attended by a nurse. With Virginia telling me "make it personal", I changed the generic old woman into my mother, who had died of cancer eleven years earlier. Then I changed the generic nurse into me. The painting was a cathartic experience, since I still had some leftover issues from her passing, and the process helped me through them. It also resulted in a better painting. Here 'tis:



In painting these Bosnian pictures, I've been trying to make it personal - they have all been about scenes or experiences that left a strong mark on me. After seeing Laura's book, though, I'm not sure how much else I can say with these landscapes. I still have a few images from that time that I want to get on canvas, but I'm thinking that now I need to work less from past experiences and more with current ones. In other words, sit my butt down in front of real places and real things and real people, and paint them, not some abstract memory.

Actually, I've been kinda thinking along those lines for a while now, but it seems to have taken this book to kick-start it.

Anyway, the artist is Laura Buxton. You can see some of her work at this web site:
http://helene.collon.club.fr/laura/index.htm

Satirical Videos

I found these two videos on truthdig.com just now ... both originally from youtube ... a wonderfully satirical song about George and Dick, and a hilarious spoof about Waterloo. Enjoy!

At The Highest Levels Of Government ...

... people like Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman continue to distinguish themselves.

The Dick has been in the news lately for some of his statements and actions. Not that that's anything new - I mean, we're talking about the man who said "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators" (March 16, 2003) and "I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency." (June 20, 2005). Yes, he has indeed proven to be prescient, hasn't he? Now, regarding global warming, he's denying that humans are responsible for the temperature rise over the past hundred years. (Rolling Stone has an excellent article on it here). And this past week it was revealed that Cheney's office has refused to comply with an executive order governing the handling of classified information for the past four years. When challenged, he attempted to eliminate the Information Security Oversight Office entirely. The Dick contends that the Vice President is above the law. I think it's time to recall another Cheney quote: "There comes a time when deceit and defiance must be seen for what they are. At that point, a gathering danger must be directly confronted. At that point, we must show that beyond our resolutions is actual resolve." And our resolve is that Dick must go home!

The other star of the week is Senator "Smokin' Joe" Lieberman. I think the term must refer to the drugs he's ingesting. Lieberman is advocating air strikes on Iran in retaliation for their providing weapons and support to Iraqi insurgents. Has he been completely shielded from our recent ill-advised military adventures in Iraq and Afghanistan? What in the world makes him think that air strikes on Iran will make them stop meddling in Iraq? Somehow I can't see Mahmoud Ahmadinejad saying "Oh, excuse me, I didn't realize this was so irritating to you. Please forgive me. I'll put a stop to it immediately". Hasn't Smokin' Joe learned that military action (especially in the middle east) begets an even bigger military action in response? The way to get Iran to cooperate is to TALK to them, not shoot them.

It's worthwhile to point out that neither the Dick nor Lieberman ever served in the military. As the Dick famously noted, "I had other priorities in the sixties than military service." (April 5, 1989). Is it a coincidence that the people most in favor of military action never served themselves? I think not.

Another Hot, Hot, Hot Day

This part of the country has been suffering from a drought for maybe four months. Our rainfall for the calendar year is just over half what it should be, and rainfall for the past few months has been maybe 25% or less. My yard has changed from green to a pale crunchy yellow. One benefit: I've only had to mow it twice in the past two months.

But it's hot during the day. My studio has windows that face southwest. BIG windows, seven feet tall and four feet wide, three of 'em. And on days like this, they turn the studio into an oven by about 3 in the afternoon.

Today, though, is Saturday, and Janis had a big list of things for me to do around the yard. I cut down two trees last weekend, and today I had to chop 'em up into little pieces and get 'em out of there. Then mow, weed the hill, and put in fertilizer spikes for the juniper bushes. By the time I got to the last two items, it was over 90 degrees and I was melting into my boots. Okay, so I'm a wuss. Time to call it a day, pour a big lemonade, and watch NASCAR on TV.

Last night we went to see the latest Terpsicorps performance. Terpsicorps is a dance company based in Asheville. They do two performances a year, one in June and one in August, and bring in professional dancers from around the country. I was never a big fan of dance performances, but one visit to a Terpsicorps show and I was sold. The show last night was no exception: imaginitive, exceptionally well done, and lots of fun.

Now we're off to a birthday party for a friend of ours. Hey, we're the social butterflies these days, aren't we?

Catching Up

It's been a while since I actually wrote anything for this blog. The reason: I've been up to my eyeballs in things to do, of course. But I've finally got a few minutes to bang away at this keyboard.

For several weeks, I was working on a painting for the Long Leaf Opera in Chapel Hill, NC. This was for their world premiere of Strange Fruit, which was based on Lillian Smith's novel of the same name, which in turn took its title from the Billy Holiday song. Strange Fruit tells the story of a doomed interracial love affair in south Georgia in 1920. It's a dark and bloody tale. There is only one sign of hope in the whole story: the baby, born of the black woman and white man, who embodies the potential of all races to come together. The painting was unveiled at a reception at Bill Hester Fine Art in Chapel Hill yesterday (Sunday). The photo below is me with Erina Newkirk (left) and Charles Stanton (right), who played the lead roles in the opera. Erina and Charles sang a duet from the opera, and then Erina sang a solo lullaby directly to the baby in the painting. Erina and Charles have marvelous voices, and hearing them sing gave me chills.

Today I got a call from Bill Hester about the painting. He has an extremely interesting idea about a way it can be used to benefit a specific group. We're going to work on the idea more this week, and once we get something nailed down, I'll give you the details. Suffice it to say for now that I'm really excited!

Last weekend (June 9 & 10) was the Studio Stroll. We made some changes this year that seem to have brought out a lot of new people. I had a lot more visitors to my studio this year than ever before, a great many of them from out of town (or even out of the country!). My paintings generally get a strong (and positive) reaction, but since they're edgy, they get very few sales. I mean, can you imagine somebody actually wanting to part with serious money in order to hang a satirical picture of George Bush over their sofa? Neither can I. But I view these Strolls as an outreach program, to show people that "art" in Asheville doesn't always mean beautiful landscapes or crafts. And in this, I seem to be successful: I'm getting more and more people showing up who are actually looking for me. Quite enjoyable. And, in fact, I really did make a few sales that weekend. So I came away very happy.

Yesterday, Janis and I drove down to Chapel Hill for the reception. We checked into the La Quinta in southeast Durham, just a few miles from the gallery. We like La Quinta's because they take pets and we always travel with our two dogs. This one was no exception: a really nice place, very clean, and staffed by friendly, courteous, and very responsive people. We'll definitely stay there again.

Not so nice was the Red Lobster next door. We went over there to have a quick dinner just after 5 pm. We got up and left, without ever getting our order, almost an hour later. Completely unsatisfactory. It's been many years since we've been in a Red Lobster, and it looks like it'll be many many years before we go back!

Learning Early

Here's my grandson, getting an important lesson from his old man. Damn, I'm proud of him!

The Grandson

Jackson went to his first baseball game yesterday. His team, the San Diego Padres, won. I guess Jacks is their good-luck charm! And take a look at the bottom half of the big screen behind him ... yes, that's Jacks, getting his image beamed to the whole stadium.

Studio Developments

I had a monkey wrench thrown into the development of a new painting this week. Won't go into the details, but it really upset me. In talking it over with several different people, and in mulling it over while walking the dogs (always a very productive time - if not for me, then at least for the dogs), I realized something. I've been making very angry paintings for the past several years. And it comes from a very deep place.

Some of you (from among the three people in the world who read this) are probably saying, "well, DUHH!". My "Bush League" series of paintings are satire. And what is satire if not anger with wit? I knew that going in, but kinda lost sight of it. Actually, I started the series specifically because I was pissed off at Bush and his Republican allies. My previous series of paintings (not on my web site anymore) was an unfocused bit of navel-gazing, and I needed to find a way to tap into something deeper. My anger at Bush was the key. So out came a series of satirical political paintings. After a year or so, I started the "Meditation on War" series. I wanted to work on something less politically partisan but that still tapped into some deep feelings. And most of those deep feelings were anger: at leaders who send young people off to die for no good reason, at events that kill people and destroy cities, at all the waste.

Seems strange coming from a retired naval officer, doesn't it? Well, there it is. I believe in the military. It was a great life for me. But as a great general once said, the purpose of a military is to kill people and break things. Unfortunately, sometimes military force is necessary, like in World War II, Korea, Desert Storm, and Afghanistan. But sometimes that force is used stupidly, like Bush's adventurism in Iraq. And that makes me angry.

I don't know yet how this new (to me) revelation will affect my work. Maybe there won't be anything that would be visible to a neutral viewer. But I'm already looking at my work in a different way. Anger is a great emotion to capture in art. I think in my case it was getting to be too much.

Kakistocracy

We were watching the spelling bee finals on TV tonight and learned a new word. A young girl informed us that a "kakistocracy" is a government by the worst persons possible.

So that's what Bush has been running all this time!

Memorial Day

In memory of all those soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines who never came home.

New Painting Revisited

Last month, I posted a picture of a new painting, called "The Soccer Game". I was a bit premature. (My wife says I'm premature in other things, too, but let's not go there). The picture was of five boys playing soccer in front of a war-torn building, and was in the April 17th post if you want to go take a look at it.


I went back and revised it. The reason was that the five boys competed for attention with the bullet-blasted wall, and there wasn't a single center of interest. It was like I couldn't make up my mind: which was more important pictorally, the wall or the kids? So I painted out four of the five boys. Now it feels in harmony. The wall is the dominant feature: it tells the real story of what happened there. The boy is in a supporting role, telling about how life is returning. Actually, the weeds are in a supporting role, too: they say that the fighting has been over for a while.


So here's the new version:

Stupid Criminals Department

I was talking with somebody today about, of all things, credit-card fraud. I don't have a clue how that got started. I was telling the young lady about how our American Express cards were compromised once. She told me that a friend of hers recently had her debit card information stolen. It didn't take the police long to figure out who did it, though: the guy used it to pay his income taxes!

Political Developments

It's been a while since I last posted, and since then there have been a number of interesting political developments that I just have to comment on.

Paul Wolfowitz finally resigned today. Hurray! Here's a guy who was one of the most important people in crafting our insanely stupid war with Iraq. He was rewarded for this unbelievable blunder with the post of President of the World Bank. And promptly showed his true colors by giving his girlfriend a hefty pay raise. So now he's out and whining about it. He ought to consider himself lucky that he's not on trial as a war criminal in the Hague.

Alberto Gonzalez is holding on to his job for the time being. George Bush is standing by his man in true Bush fashion: no matter how incompetent his appointee is, and how flagrant his abuses, George can't admit he chose the wrong guy for the job. "You're doing a heckuva job, Gonzo!" Bush is probably the only man in Washington more incompetent than Gonzalez at the moment. (Some would say Cheney is, but I think Cheney is criminally inept, not incompetent.) We need to keep the pressure on for Gonzo's resignation. He needs to become a civilian, just like the eight attorneys he fired for political reasons.

I just read where James Dobson is threatening to sit out the next election if Rudy Giuliani is the Republican nominee. That's wonderful news for the Democrats. Dobson is the founder and co-chair of the Focus on the Family right-wing religious group. He endorsed Bush in 2004, which helped Bush retain his throne. Given the fact that the Iraq war was already a major catastrophe by then, and that Bush was clearly a dweeb of the first order, that doesn't say a whole lot about Dobson, now, does it? So if the Republicans nominate a moderate, then Dobson will take his voters and go home. Great! Go!! Please, just go!! Now!!!

The Democrats and Republicans are still playing chicken with the Iraq funding bill. I suppose it had to come sometime, as Bush just cannot have a blank check forever. But the way this is playing out is a disaster. I saw this sort of thing happen before, and as a military guy who had to make do with inadequate funding while the elephants danced in Washington, I experienced the negative effect that these shenanigans have. Congress needs to provide all the support that General Petraeus (the guy in charge of the war) asks for. Petraeus is a straight shooter and will tell us if the surge is working or not.

I'm extremely worried about a possible war with Iran. Bush doesn't seem to know how to talk with people who aren't fully on his side - he's a divider, not a uniter - and Iran hasn't been fully on "our" side since George was doing heavy drugs. But now Bush has created all the elements of another Tonkin Gulf fiasco (this was the incident where the North Vietnamese were reported to have attacked a couple of our destroyers, causing us to go into a full-scale war there ... and the event never really happened). And all we need now is some trigger-happy Iranian border guard to fire a pistol at an American ship and we've got another stupid war on our hands. During the Cold War, neither the US nor the Soviet Union really wanted a war, so they set up hot lines and other means of communication to make sure one didn't happen. George has refused to do any of that. He seems to be itching for yet another war.

Not all of my rants are negative. I think that Robert Gates has been doing a great job as Secretary of Defense. Now, granted, the bar was set exceptionally low by his predecessor (some would say it was set in negative territory), but Gates has proven himself willing and able to make difficult decisions, move fast when necessary, and work well with the military leaders. General Petraeus has been great in probably the worst job in the military right now. And Admiral Fallon, the guy in charge of Central Command, is proving himself to be more than up to his impossible task. The fact that we're not at war with Iran (yet) is due more to Admiral Fallon than that idiot in the White House.

Awright, awright, I'll shut up now. Maybe next time I'll talk about something more positive than politics. This stuff just gets my dander up, that's all.

Artistic Influences

I'm gonna take a break from my political ranting and talk about some of my artistic influences instead (okay, I hear all that cheering, knock it off already). I was asked the other day about where my influences came from, and why I paint the kind of things I do.


My earliest influence was Norman Rockwell. As a kid, I thought he was the best artist who ever lived. He could tell a story that you would understand right away, and all the people and objects were depicted with such realism that you could almost feel them. I wanted to do that kind of painting when I grew up. But when I did grow up, I realized Rockwell's limitations. He was a sentimental illustrator - his images were sappy, idealized versions of a bygone America that never really existed. He almost never engaged in any subject with any meat to it, and even when he did, there wasn't much to it. For example, he did a painting about freedom of speech. An important topic and technically well done, but in his version, it just showed a guy standing up and talking, with other people respectfully listening. There's no emotional involvement by the viewer, no tension, no conflict. Pretty dull.

Another early influence was Edward Hopper. His paintings had a lonely feel to them. I think a lot of people can relate to that, particularly teenagers like me, who felt like nobody in the world understood them. (Now I know that's just a normal part of being a teenager, but then it was a major trauma). When I first saw this painting, Early Sunday Morning, it about blew me away. Here was a painting that had a palpable feel to it. It's about people, but there aren't any people visible - just the traces of things they touched. It's a narrative that isn't completely spelled out, that requires the viewer to fill in a lot of it. And each viewer will come up with a different story. Of course, as a teen, I went completely overboard, and thought Hopper was the greatest painter who ever lived. But later, when I really studied his paintings, I found out that he, too, had limitations. Hopper's paintings missed the mark more often than they hit it. Some paintings were unbelieveably strong, while others were just poorly done. Still, his work resonated with me.

Later, I discovered Thomas Hart Benton. Now Benton is often derided these days as little more than an illustrator or genre painter, but an artist can learn a lot from studying his paintings. Benton really knew how to construct a painting. This one is titled The Sources of Country Music. It's a very dynamic composition. Everything is tied into everything else. It swoops and swirls, and your eye moves around it easily in a smooth rhythm. If you imagine leaving a trail of paint behind your eye movement, you'll recognize the painting style of one of Benton's most famous students: Jackson Pollack. Benton told illustrative stories, Pollack worked with paint, but the structure and movement in both is very similar.

While a student at the Maryland Institute, College of Art, I discovered two painters who had a big effect on me. One was Alice Neel, the other Lucien Freud. Both focus on the figure and both let the individuality of their subjects shine through.


Neel uses a very loose approach, starting with an underdrawing (often in ultramarine blue!) and then building up from that. She doesn't worry too much about fine finish: she's after the ephemera of personality and the moment. Neel's subjects are real people, not idealized or generic.



Lucien Freud's work is much more finished. Like Neel, you can see the results of the process: thick paint, brushstrokes, changes, decisions made and unmade. I get the feeling that Freud is more concerned about his own thoughts and feelings than he is about his subject's, but his subjects are still very real people. For a long time I consciously copied many aspects of his style; actually, I think that now I may be going back toward it again. For me, it's vital that a painting look like a painting, with brush strokes and paint in themselves being as important as the thing they depict. If you're going to hide the painting process and try for a photorealistic image, you may as well just take your photo to WalMart and blow it up.






A more contemporary artist who has had a significant influence on me is Jerome Witkin. He works with serious subjects: rape, the Holocaust, religion, the Kennedy assassination, and more. His paintings have all the structure of Benton's work, but in a more subtle yet solid manner. His people are normal people caught up in events outside their control. The paintings are stories that don't tell you everything. I really respond to Witkin's work on a gut level. A couple of years ago, I was fortunate to spend three days working with him in his studio and learned a tremendous amount. He's a wonderful artist and a supremely kind and gracious individual.




Last, a problematic artist is Odd Nerdrum. His paintings have an "ohmigawd" element to them. Nerdrum paints like Rembrandt, but his subjects come from deep in the psyche. Lately I've been studying his paintings as closely as I can from a big thick brick of a book, looking at how he builds them up. Nerdrum uses layers on layers, dragging paint over the top, scraping it down, and eventually creates a deep image that's rich in texture. I've been trying to learn the technique, but it seems to bog me down - in focusing on surface texture, I'm losing the "moment" that Neel and Freud are so good at capturing. My paintings are starting to look static and almost overworked. For some of them, the "static" element is fine - these are the paintings of the destruction in Bosnia, which are quiet and contemplative, and which seem to suit this style. I can't seem to get it to work with figures. I don't know yet if I'll stay with this, or go back to the looser style.

This note has gone on long enough. I wanted to get this down before the thoughts left me, and now my brain is empty.