Why I'm Going To Abs Class

Don't mess with my calendar for late afternoons on Tuesdays or Fridays. I'll be in my Rock-Hard Abs class.

Anybody who knows me is rolling on the floor in tears after that last statement. Rock-hard abs and me just don't exist in the same universe. But it's true: I go twice a week. I've been going to the gym and swimming and jogging fairly regularly since arriving here. This class takes the place of a gym session or two and really pushes me. And it's kinda fun, in a perverse and painful sorta way. And humbling, too. I'll be slowly puffing along with my situps ("....ooonnnnneeeee ...... tttwwwwooooo ....") and these two skinny young Air Force girls next to me will be bouncing along at 90 miles an hour, boing boing boing boing, laughing and chatting with each other the whole time and barely cracking a sweat. My goal is to someday last the entire hour without collapsing in a heap on the floor.

There's a reason that I've been doing all this exercise. It's called the DFAC. I mentioned it in a previous post. The DFAC is our Dining Facility. Actually, there are a lot of them all over the International Zone. They're run by KBR, formerly a subsidiary of Halliburton and a target of hate mail from the left. But those of us who live with KBR on a daily basis are perfectly happy with the way they run the DFACs. Which amounts to four scheduled all-you-can-eat buffets, every day: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and midrats.

When you enter the building, there's a big 8-sink area where you're required to wash your hands. Iraq's a dirty place, anyway, and hand-washing keeps the spread of the Dreaded Crud down to a manageable level. Once in the door, you scan your CAC card (a photo ID) or sign in, then move on to the food lines. There are several. Right by the door is the Main Line, which serves up the main entrees of the day, such as sloppy barbecue ribs, grilled mystery fish, fried chicken, or meatloaf, along with a couple of different kinds of veggies, maybe mashed potatoes, and rolls or cornbread. On Sundays, they have Prime Rib night.

If you don't want the Main Line selection, then there's another line just past that with something else. Yesterday it was the Louisiana Bar featuring gumbo, rice, and something they called jambalaya. There's a salad bar with a fairly limited selection that doesn't really vary much, but still, it's fresh salad. And they'll have a section with various types of other salads, like macaroni, tuna, or pasta. There's a guy making grilled chicken, which you can have straight or with cheese on a bun. There's a sandwich bar where you can make your own Subway sandwich only with a lot more stuff. Several different coolers with all kinds of milk and juices (all in those little sippy cartons that grade school kids love) or sodas, water, or energy drinks. Or coolers filled with tea or kool-aid clones. If none of that rings a bell, there's a grill in the back that makes pretty good burgers and dogs. There are two tureens of soup next to the door, and across from that is the fruit bar. And to top it all off, there's the ice cream section - not quite Baskin Robbins, but still a pretty good selection ... or you can have soft-serve. Or move over to the desert section where they have a bunch of cakes and pies to choose from.

That's a typical lunch or dinner. Breakfast is similar only a little smaller and loaded with breakfast stuff. Haven't been to midrats. This goes on every day, 365 days/year. And it's free.

Which explains why I'm going to Rock-Hard Abs class.